Eleventh Submission: Kyle Beachy

Kyle Beachy, the almost-famous author with whom I share funny Gchat conversations, sent me a rather lengthy IM today with the following:

Kyle: this is only cliche for reasons i can’t even explain. but you’ll agree, i hope, because i have (at this very moment, of all the many many moments in my 30 years of life) never, ever seen anything so wonderful as this woman in her living room counting out these glorious steps.

His message included a link to this video:

And it resulted in the following conversation:

Kyle: perhaps it’s her tv? or perhaps the symmetrical towers of shelving flanking the tv? or perhaps the way her voice rises and becomes breathier as she steps? or the way her diagonals take her perilously close to the shelving and threaten to obstruct her line dance?
me: hahaha
Kyle: who knows. but i love it, i love it deeply, and it makes me terribly happy to share it with you.
me: or the fact her dance barely does anything at all
which is the premise of most line dances
Kyle: just. step. ping.
me: heel toe heel toe
thank you for bringing this into my life

Line dances are an aspect of social dancing I often forget about. I didn’t really grow up doing line dances and rarely find myself in a place where they are appropriate. I know the Electric Slide, courtesy of one of my late great uncles, and that’s about where it ends. But they are cliché in a pretty fabulous way; they’re accessible to basically anyone because they are usually just a series of steps, making them easy to perpetuate and therefore play out. The fact that this woman is dancing in her living room is a whole other level of cliché, which relates to YouTube culture and the fact there are people dancing in front of tripods in living rooms, bedrooms, bathrooms, baby rooms, laundry rooms, etc. all over the world and broadcasting them on the Internet.

Talk to me about line dances. Which ones do you know? Which ones do you enjoy? Which ones are heinous and should never be repeated? I know nothing, people. Teach me!

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3 responses to “Eleventh Submission: Kyle Beachy

  1. OKAY, Dahnke. I’ll bite on this one.

    Fun fact: I secretly love line dancing. Or, rather, I loved line dancing until I was 15 at least, which was the last time I did it, at a Thanksgiving held at a retreat center in the middle of nowhere, Kentucky.

    Anyway.

    In grade school, we were required to learn a few dances: the electric slide (natch), the locomotion, and a line dance to Brooks & Dunn’s “Boot Scootin’ Boogie.”

    A cursory search of the internet leads me to believe this must be part of public school curriculum in some areas of the country, as evidenced by this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UYI4zSFD8U

    At any rate, I still know the counts:
    Fan, fan
    heel, heel, toe, toe
    heel, step
    STOMP STOMP
    heel, step
    STOMP STOMP
    grapevine right
    grapevine left
    TURN

    /fin/

  2. suzanne hashim gehl

    ugh, the macarena.

  3. Ummm…. The Cha Cha Slide anyone???

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